In any situation that makes you unhappy or uncomfortable, you have one of three choices: to accept it, to change it, or to leave it.
Of the three, I think acceptance is the hardest, because it means just that — accepting the situation without continuing to whine or complain about the thing(s) that make you unhappy. If you continue to complain, then you haven’t really accepted things.
Several years ago, as many couples do, my husband and I hit a bit of a rough patch in our marriage. Not having the best track record with marriages, leaving was certainly an option for me because I knew that I wasn’t going to change things. But I wanted my marriage to work, so I accepted the fact that if I were going make that happen, I needed to accept, and love, my husband for the way he was. And it’s worked. I no longer get frustrated at the small stuff and when things reach a point that things finally bug me, I let my husband know, in a courteous and gentle way, and he is quick to remedy the situation.
RA, however, is a different story.
I have RA. The only way to leave the situation is suicide, and that’s not a good choice. I have accepted the fact that I have the disease, but I’m also working to change or minimize its effects. I think I’ve finally found a drug that will relieve most of the symptoms and hopefully slow the disease. I am trying to take care of my overall health through diet, exercise, happy thoughts, pedicures and anything else I think will work. (Okay, maybe the pedicures aren’t for the RA, but they make me happy and mental wellness is an important part of overall health. I just can’t seem to get my doctor to write a prescription for them.)
So as you go about your life today, think about your choices and the clarity as well as peace they can bring.
May all your choices be good. Thanks for checking in.
I can relate to your frustation with RA. For me, RA is an alien invading my body and at some level, I want to beleive that I can get rid of it. I know that I can’t, but it doesn’t mean that a part of me isn’t hopeful.
Yes, I have accepted RA in my life, and I understand what you are saying about leaving. I remember the person I used to be who would just walk away and never look back. RA makes you fight for what you want not just when it comes to the disease, but when it comes to everything in your life.
I always say that my life, before RA, prepared me for having RA. It takes a lot of strength to live with pain everyday of your life.
Wise words for dealing with just about all the problems life tosses at us, Carla. It’s easy to forget them, though, caught up as we are in the daily grind, so thank you for spelling it out. Some life lessons need to be renewed and relearned as we grow.