I think it’s somewhat of a sad commentary on things that when I get or try something new, I have this hidden expectancy that it’s not going to work. Either it doesn’t work correctly, doesn’t work the way I expected, or somehow doesn’t actually fit the way I need it to. (I wonder if Steve Jobs had the same feeling recently.) So last night when my husband reported the ice/water dispenser on our new refrigerator wasn’t working, I can’t say that I was surprised (disappointed, yes, surprised, no). However, when I tried it, it worked great and was still working this morning. I put it down to “operator error” (as we say in the computer business), but I am still keeping a watchful eye that all its little bells and whistles continue to ring and blow respectively as required.
Which sort of brings me to the point that when things DO work, it’s wonderful. Someone once accused me of being optimistic. I told them I really a great pessimist, but I was always delighted when things didn’t go as badly as I’d feared, so I was happy most of the time.
My diet is working — even after an outrageous dinner with the neighbors on Saturday night filled with cream sauces, dessert and WAY too much alcohol. After two weeks, I’m slightly ahead of my 2-lbs. per week goal. (Only 700 weeks to go and I’ll be able to see my hip bones again.)
Something about getting something fixed and having it work is even more satisfying in many ways than having it work correctly the first time — when the computer or the car comes back from the shop and not only is the problem fixed, there aren’t any new ones to contend with.
What I’m not sure is working is my Enbrel. It’s quite concerning. I got off of it for a few weeks when I had rotator cuff surgery, but I’ve been back on about six weeks now and haven’t noticed a remarkable improvement. All the old suspect joints (knees, hands, the occasional elbow) are complaining as loudly as ever plus my upper spine has been giving me the dickens. I thought at first that the spine issues were caused by wearing the sling and having the additional weight hanging off my neck, but I’ve been out of the sling for a few weeks now.
It may also have to do with the fact that I was stopped taking Celebrex the same time I stopped the Enbrel and I haven’t restarted it. I have my next appointment with my rheumy in about a month, so we’ll see then.
The real joy, for those of us with RA, is finding something that works against the disease. RA is such a multi-faceted disease and it affects each of us in different ways, that there is a monster of a trial-and-error period of first diagnosing the situation then finding a treatment that will be effective. So if you’re new to this disease, take heart. There are millions of us who have walked the path before you and are a testimony that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We all got there in different ways and have found different solutions that work for each of us.
I hope things work well in your life today. Thanks for checking in.