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I go back occasionally and see the posts where I swear that, no matter what, I’ll be a good patient and take my RA drugs because I have learned, learned, learned my lesson about being off of them.

Yet this morning I met with my rheumy and discussed (and got approval) for a four-month trial of only Mobic — discarding my Orencia and Arava for a while.  Yes, I know that Mobic only treats the symptoms, not the disease. And yes, I know that probably the Orencia and certainly the Arava are still in my system, a month after discontinuing them — so the sense of well-being I’m feeling is not just the Mobic.

However, I am feeling well. I have energy. The lethargy and lack of interest (caused no doubt by said RA drugs) have evaporated just as the drugs are evaporating from my system. I don’t have morning stiffness, I don’t have swollen joints (except for knee that is recovering from surgery), and I haven’t flared. In fact, I haven’t felt this good since I went on Humira, then Simponi, then Enbrel, then Orencia.

So what’s wrong with this picture? I hope nothing. If it all backfires on me, I have my drugs stashed safely at home that I can start the medication routine again. But I know how I feel and since I’m sero-negative and all my tests come back cold-stone normal, how I feel is the only real indicator of disease activity I’ve got. And since there are no indicators that show whether drugs are really working, then why am I taking them when I feel better when I don’t?

I know, I know, I know. All this is just so much justification patter. It’s kind of like when you wake up face down in your neighbor’s kiddie pool wearing nothing but a lampshade, when it seemed to make so much sense the night before. (Not that I’ve ever done anything like that …)

But I’ve chosen this path, and I’m happy about it. The fact that I have the support of my rheumy and there are breadcrumbs on the path to lead me back if I get lost are all good things.

And like any path, you can only take it one step at a time.

I hope that wherever your path leads you today brings a smile to your face. Thanks for checking in.