I felt somewhat unprepared for my rheumatologist’s appointment this morning. Like a lot of you who follow this blog, normally I have my list of symptoms and questions and concerns neatly organized (in my mind, if not physically on paper). Today I had nothing more than this premonition that she would recommend going back on the “big drugs” that I’ve been off since knee surgery. I did well on Mobic for several weeks, but lately the effect hasn’t been great and, given issues with my stomach, I stopped taking even that about 10 days ago.
The physical examination showed more joints that were swollen and tender than I had thought — particularly my feet. I didn’t have to tell her that it hurts to get out of bed in the morning.
So here’s the new drill: back on the Orencia and 10mg of Arava. Plus Celebrex. Plus a four-week course of 5mg of prednisone, tapering to a second four-week course of 2.5mg prednisone. Plus a steroid injection today. Plus Xrays of my feet.
Sigh.
I am counting my blessings. That I have a caring, compassionate rheumatologist who listens to her patients. That I have open access to excellent healthcare (the Xrays were a short walk down the hall). That I have good health insurance that permits me to pay for the healthcare and prescription drugs. That I have a good job that provides the insurance and the salary to pay for the deductibles.
However, I can’t help but feel a bit deflated. I really wanted something simple like Mobic to work. I didn’t want to be back on weekly injections that make me feel as much like a sick person as the disease itself. I didn’t want to go on prednisone with associated weight gain and complications — even though it will make me feel better. I didn’t want another pill — Celebrex — and the second pill (protonix to protect my stomach) in my arsenal of drugs I take every day.
I know. I sound like a whiney baby. It’s like I want to look like a super model, but I don’t necessarily want to diet and exercise. I want to feel good and stop hurting and stop the joint issues, but I don’t want to take the drugs. I guess being a grownup sometimes means doing those things you don’t want to anyway.
Mostly know that I am thankful for my blessings and for my friends (cyber and otherwise). Thanks for checking in.
Aw, Carla. I was so hoping that the Mobic alone would take care of your pain (though I was concerned about your RA progressing unchecked). It’s hard to accept having to take handfuls of pills every day, morning and night; it’s hard to take pills that cause weight gain and puffiness. It’s hard to take a hypodermic needle in hand and inject yourself with it, even just once a week. You’re not whining, Carla. You’re being perfectly human. And yes, it’s sometimes the pits being a grown-up.
Here’s hoping that the medications you’re restarting will make you feel terrific. Stay cool and enjoy the summer days ahead!
I made a decision at the start of the year to go drug free. Initially it was HARD work. Now, six months on, it is getting easier and I feel so much better on the inside. xo
Carla, your feelings are completely normal. I remember going off meds and going back. I felt exactly as you mention here. This whole RA business is not a fun one. I do however hope that you feel good soon. Thanks for sharing your update.
So, I’ve spent the last two days reading all of your posts. Yes, I’m newly diagnosed, and while I doubt we were seperated at birth( I’m only on husband #3 and hate coke zero) your voice was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for this blog. It is an extremely generous gift to have someone a few years further down the RA path share their thoughts and feelings and experiences in real time.
There is no greater compliment than to know that my journey has brought value to someone else (especially a long-lost twin …). Thank you for taking time to share my journey.
Oh you don’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll be hanging around here. Lots cooler than summer in new Orleans, after all…
Carla. Thanks for the share. RA is a real challenge, and it’s a day-by-day challenge. That said…your positive attitude can affect your quality of life — even when the situation cannot change. Be Well, Peter
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